Friday, April 15, 2011

oh dang.

CONTEXT: I was meeting a friend at a bar near my apartment after a long night of learning. I was tired and feeling a bit humorless, and my friend picked a bar that is not exactly my favorite but the drinks are cheap. I walk into the bar and a man looks at me like he both a) is extraordinarily drunk and b) knows me.

Him: “Do I know you?” Every word slurred into the next.
Me: “No”
Him: “Oh, because you look exactly like my baby momma.”
Me: “Oh, I have no children.”
Him: “I don't either, yet.”
Me: “I'm out.”

DID IT WORK: Well, since this was a non beautiful man basically telling me he wants to take me behind the middle school and get me pregnant, I'd say the answer is no.

EPILOGUE: I collected my friend from the other side of the room and he accompanied me back to the bar, where I bought a beer. Turns out that when my friend, a very handsome black man, had first come to the bar to buy a round for himself and someone else he was meeting, this guy regaled him with a bunch of his opinions that it's a grave injustice when black men fuck white women.

I'm a sunburn-prone blonde.

Shaming a bigot made that beer all the more delicious.


  1. "Do I know you?" is such a weird question. How the fuck would I know? I could go on and on but I'll keep it short: You gave my standard answer.

    Never mind that I once asked my own sister that very question.

  2. I love hearing about shaming bigots!!
    Their pickup lines do generally reflect their levels of intelligence ;)

  3. this guy was a piece of work. He ultimately ended up getting kicked out of the bar for drinking someone else's beer!

  4. Haaa ...what a story :) Wonderful!